Milestones of the Heart

by Billie Eidson

I. I Kept a Sacred Promise to Myself

Six months of sustained silence — and I’m finally hearing the music underneath it all.

I’ve stopped trying to conduct someone else’s tune.

Now I’m playing in my own key.

Each morning feels like a clean downbeat — no tension, no dissonance, just that slow, steady groove of self-respect.

I didn’t just stop reaching out — I started finding the melody inside the quiet.

And in that stillness, I found swing.

II. I’m Living the Long Arc of Healing

Healing’s got its own time signature — not 4/4, but something fluid, like 5/4 or 7/8.

Some days syncopated, some days straight-ahead.

Every ache has turned into a chord I can finally play through.

The bridge came when I stopped chasing perfection and started improvising with what was real.

Each time I resist the old refrain, I whisper to myself:

I am whole already — I just had to find my tempo again.

III. I Honor Love in All Its Forms

Maggie’s spirit still drifts through my heart like a haunting ballad.

Two years gone, yet her melody lingers — unresolved, beautiful.

Max brings the counterpoint — a bright, joyful riff that makes everything swing again.

Between them, I’ve learned what jazz always teaches:

love doesn’t vanish, it modulates.

It finds new keys, new feels, new ways to keep the song alive.

IV. I Celebrate Life’s Continuum

Max turns three — and every day with him feels like the sweetest jam session.

No charts, no plan — just instinct, joy, and play.

When he bolts ahead, ears flapping like cymbals in the wind, I laugh out loud and follow the rhythm.

Healing lives there — in motion, breath, and the unpredictable swing of being alive.

V. I Am My Own Sanctuary

The silence between songs — that’s where I live now.

I’ve learned that rest is part of the rhythm.

That the pause before the downbeat is just as holy as the note itself.

I don’t need anyone else to set the tempo or cue my entrance.

I am my own band, my own sound, my own sanctuary.

I am the music I used to long for — improvising, evolving, perfectly in tune with myself.